12. Thou shalt not downloadeth porn on thine work computer, lest ye be cast out.

11. Thou shalt *** EARN *** REDEMPTION *** FAST!!!! ***

10. Thou shalt not make for yourself a graven image of that which is copyrighted.

9. Thou shalt not pop up any unwanted windows before me, for I shall smite them immediately with a hasty click and read them not.

8. Thou shalt use no browser other than Internet Explorer, for thy Gates is a jealous Gates.

7. Thou shalt not forward chain letters. Instead, send these commandments to ten friends, and help save the life of a small child in Bogota!

6. Thou shalt not act like a hot 18-year chick in a chat room when thou art a pudgy, pimply-faced Trekkie.

5. Spam not, lest ye be spammed tenfold.

4. Thou shalt not spill your kinky guts and then click "Reply to all."

3. Thou shall not call thyself "Richard P. Smith" online when "Chesty LaRue" sounds so much better.

2. Remember thou the Neimann-Marcus cookie recipe and keep it holy.

1. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife - and thou shalt rejoice in the loophole that Tommy Lee is technically not thy neighbor.